To do this, the butterfly must create an opening large enough that will allow it to escape. Interestingly, the longer the struggle during this transition, the longer the butterfly will live. Well-intentioned individuals who try to “help” the emerging butterfly break through the cocoon often cause more harm than good because the new creature needs to exert enough effort to pump fluids into the small, unformed wings. If this doesn’t occur, the wings are not developed enough for it to fly away to safety and find food, and it will eventually die.
As humans, we go through numerous transitions in life that can motivate us to change as we experience life’s struggles. A successful “metamorphosis” occurs when we are able to learn the lessons that life presents to us. If we avoid or ignore the struggles, we may not learn the important lessons that will allow us to progress toward a more fulfilled person.
This progress may involve deep introspection that causes us to examine our current beliefs and realities, and ask ourselves if we are happy with the way things are right now. Interestingly, the less we have to struggle, the less we will learn from the lesson, and the more likely we will have to deal with similar struggles in the future. Often, our greatest growth will come from experiences that cause a “meltdown.” At this point we might become unrecognizable to ourselves and others as we examine how we have arrived at a particular point in life, determine what we want to become in the future, and then make the decision to reshape ourselves into a new and better person.
Knowing our values and beliefs allows us to lay a foundation upon which we can form a specific image of the person we wish to become. If our struggle is shortened by well-intentioned groups, persons or programs, then we may not fully learn life’s lesson, nor transform into the person we are destined to become, and instead of evolving into a better person we devolve into a bitter person.
It may be instinctive to reach out to others and take the pain away from those who are struggling. However, unless the situation is life-threatening or could cause long-term harm, our efforts to help might shortchange the growth process and deny the person the challenge that is necessary for them to transform in a more mature and joyous person.
Social programs are great to help struggling individuals to get back on their feet; however, they can backfire by creating a culture of dependency on others that turns those helped into helpless individuals. It denies them the challenges they need to become more self-reliant and fulfilled. This nature is then passed on to the next generations, where the assistance becomes an entitlement that limits them from developing into fully capable individuals who contribute back to society.
To break this dependency cycle, one must realize that the struggle is part of the growth process. It will take three key characteristics to emerge from the cocoon of safety: 1) Commitment to our future self, 2) persistence to not quit when the going gets tough, and 3) developing new life skills and strategies that will allow us to remain independent.
If we have a specific image of the person we want to become in our mind, stay focused and committed to a course of action that will allow us to fully develop, and then implement the new skills and strategies necessary to make a successful transition into a new and better person, then we can continue this process when we have new challenges we must face.
Do you have what it takes to meet life’s challenges head on and gain the strength to be a new and better person, or will you remain in a cocoon of safety? Leadership and life are about growing through each of our challenges and experiencing transformations that eventually allow us to fly above them and create a new life that is more fulfilling and an inspiration to others. The question isn’t if you’ll experience a life transition, but instead the quality of your experience as you transition through life.
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