Telling Your Story

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather to become a man of value.” – Albert Einstein

Christmas is filled with numerous stories that are retold to recreate the spirit of the holidays. From Scrooge’s Ghosts of the Past, Present, and Future who uses stories to influence the miser to reevaluation his life, to whimsical tales of animated snowmen and jolly elves, we use stories to pass down traditions and keep memories alive.

One of those stories is about a red-nosed reindeer who was bashful and had a secret he hid from others – his nose was red and glowed. His parents were embarrassed and afraid that others would learn he was different. When his secret was discovered, he was rejected initially. However, it was his secret that made his story unique and eventually saved Christmas day.

We have had experiences that shaped our lives and created our own unique story. Stories help us connect to one another and transfer shared meaning. A story is a form of mental imprint that can mold perceptions and touch the unconscious mind. Each of us carries our own story that we have formed throughout our lives and that gives us identity. Whether we realize it or not, this identity is communicated to others in the first few minutes we meet someone new, and it can become our persona for the rest of our life.

Do you know your story and how you communicate it to others? Do you know the life-changing events in your personal or professional life that have forged your personality? Have you established the values and beliefs that are important to you, and then translated them into a corresponding look, sound, and feel that is unique only to you?

Everyone has a true story based on experiences and that shapes their values. You are really a composite of all your true stories – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Keeping part of your story secret out of fear that you’ll be rejected only hides part of yourself, and in the end, the effort to keep secrets will create greater tension of what’s inside wanting to come out to the surface to reveal itself. All of our fears can be summed up by feelings that we are not good enough or wondering if people will like us.

The most successful people have an identity founded on authentic, true-life stories that resonate with others because it is filled with human qualities that we can all relate to and believe in. Many of these individuals have had experiences that were difficult to live through, but shaped the person they are today. Their authentic stories have given greater hope and created a stronger bond with others.

Barbara Corcoran is one of New York’s most successful real estate professionals who started her business with $1,000 that she borrowed from her boyfriend. Ten years later she sold her business for $76 million, and she attributed her success to several key principles. One of those principles was to “share your secrets.” She said, “When you share your secrets with people, the most amazing thing happens. They share their secrets right back.”

In order to connect with people, you should reveal your authentic self to them. Some people may reject you for your honesty, but there will be many more who are naturally drawn to you and all that you offer. Your truth becomes the lighthouse of hope that will draw people to you because they trust that you have gone where they want to go and have made it back again. Sharing your secrets is an act of trust that will cause others to share their secrets with you.

Like the story of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, keeping your story secret will dilute your ability to relate to others authentically. When Rudolph was forced to expose himself, he discovered that his secret was actually his strength and what had held him back were all the ideas he had chosen to believe about himself.

Like Rudolph, you should identify your true story and share your uniqueness with others. Recognize that you already have a story, and you should take control of it to convey the kind of story that makes you unique. Connect your experiences to the things that are important to you. Express your values in a way that incorporates as many of the human emotions that touch people, so you’ll be remembered.

Each person wants to leave a legacy that will live on through their families, their work and the contributions they make in life. Make your story one of truth and authenticity.